Summoned 2 weeks ago 5

the legend of EPIC BEARD MAN grows!

“BRING THE AMBUHLAMPS!!!” hahahahaha

# : humor

Summoned 3 weeks ago 14

Feb. 15th, morning after pill day….or at least it is for the smart people

# : blurbs

Summoned 3 weeks ago 33

pretty spot on.

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Summoned 3 weeks ago 12

it’sa me, PAWNIO!

the economy is so bad the store’s owner could only afford a generic name like “The Pawn Shop.”

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Summoned 3 weeks ago 8

this gif kills all the events with one stone for me this weekend…

watching the olympics

watching danica’s race after she crashed

watching NBA’s all-star festivities

watching daytona 500

watching the first 3 quarters of the NBA all-star game

sucombing to valentine’s day

i didnt do and will not do all the above with the exception of watching the dunk contest tonite.

its popular for everyone to bash on how bad the dunk contest was, but i think what has happened is fairly simple. we have all been spoiled by the greats, and really there isnt much left except for some gimmicky type crap. especially, when there is little creativity now.

the quality was way down this year. great game dunkers dont equal great dunk contest dunkers. you think the ppl who pick these players would figure this out by now.

the only way the dunk contest can been saved from now on is if they have naked strippers jumping on trampolines while sucking on popsicles.

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Summoned 4 weeks ago 1

Anonymous asked: hey it says you're a musician! where can i hear some of your music?

unfortunately my music is not on the internets yet.

i mainly play for recreation and often i dont record myself. i mainly play the keyboard in which i have done for about 10 years. i also play guitar mainly electric for about 3 years.

i had a  nice casio ctk5000 for awhile though it got destroyed when i moved a few years ago. i had some recordings stored on it, mainly chords though. i have a shitty acoustic guitar named “kabong” in which the fretboard is snapped in half but held together by pride…well technically duct tape. i only use it now for quenching my boredom or serenading the ladies with raffi songs, so i always have it the trunk of my car if need be.

i have a big tax return on the horizon and may purchase a instrument in the future. i have a bigger itch to play the electric again so i might get a les paul on the cheap so i have enough to get an amp. the economical choice would be to get another casio though i dont have an itch to play it again yet.

whether i get a guitar or keyboard, i will be more willing to record myself this time since i want to further my education in the production aspect.

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Summoned 4 weeks ago 12

alright time to talk about the super bowl one last time. the party i threw was great and nobody died from alcohol. i highly encourage the drinking game which was able to keep everybody interested in watching the game including the ppl who werent fans of either team or knew football at all. there were about 8-10 infractions made and spread out through out the game which gave the lightweights enough time to nurse thier shots of schnapps.

the game itself was great, expected a shootout in the 40’s but the aggressive playcalling by sean payton drew enough suspense to keep the game exciting.

my favorite play

was definitely the onside kick. that play reminded me of fourth grade kickball. ball’s flying everywhere and everyone looks confused and panicked.

national anthem

out of all the singers out there, you had to get queen latifah from the bargain bin?  we all know queen latifah doesn’t like to pronounce multi-syllable words together…”BE. YOU. TEE. FULL…PUR. PLE.” /facepalm

halftime show

didnt watch it until today, and i somewhat felt bad for “the who.” this is like watching my grandpa at karaoke night. it looks like we are going to continue to get old rockers until the FCC gets over janet. the last time they let someone born after 1965 perform….they got boobies.

postgame

sucks to be a NFC south team this fall. it looks like sean payton gained enough xp in the super bowl to unlock beast mode last nite and slapped the mvp outta the face of the NFL in manning.

the commercials

from what ive seen, the biggest question is how many creative writers the ad agencies laid off last year?

this is the only year so far where you can make a legitimate case for all the commercials aired as the worst super bowl ad youve seen.

best commercial

there were no great commercials and only one good commercial. that one goes to betty white. my biggest lol was when white said “you’ve been ridin me all day”…i love it when betty goes dirty.

worst commercial

by far the census commercial. it brought no value to the table. its placement in the super bowl is like jamming that jagged puzzle piece that doesnt fit. you know ahead of time it doesnt fit, but convince yourself it visually fits in with the other pieces. this commercial had the biggest potential in becoming the best commercial as well. for those who saw the hangover, melissa aka rachael harris was the centerpiece of the commercial and if one of the guys have her clear up the confusion on whether she fucked a sailor or bartender or made any reference from the hangover, they couldve took the cake.

bud light’s autotune came in second. bud light and autotune dont mix. see mentos and coke

honorable mention

e*trade

its never too late to abort these babies. having 5 of them in a commercial doesnt make it 5 times as funny. i hope someone joins me in my next episode where i take down the progressive skank and the UPS doodling douche.

bud light

well if you’re gonna make unfunny commercials promoting watered-down piss, it’s only fair that they should remind me of J-Lo playing a lesbian hitwoman and ben affleck being his usual douchey self. *cough* gigli

careerbuilder and dockers

two pantless commercials aired in a row? blame lady gaga

Flo.Tv

hmmm i wonder if Flo.Tv and the iPad will ever merge?

vizio

a little tardy on the youtube memes. i cant wait until they discover the sneezing panda! i hope they skip over what what in the butt

taco bell

i will not eat that box.
not with a fox.
not with some jocks.

i will not eat it for a buck.
no, i will not eat it, sir chuck.

i hate seeing barkley in commercials and i keep preaching he doesnt need to appear in them for this reason.

things that will always be separate:

oil and water.

israel and the palestinians.

charles barkley and his dignity.

on a final note, as bad as the commercials and halftime may be, we cant take this super bowl for granite. in a few years its a realistic possibility that there will be no NFL and/or NBA if they both leagues man up and get their CBA’s right!

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