Summoned 2 hours ago 3

alright time to talk about the super bowl one last time. the party i threw was great and nobody died from alcohol. i highly encourage the drinking game which was able to keep everybody interested in watching the game including the ppl who werent fans of either team or knew football at all. there were about 8-10 infractions made and spread out through out the game which gave the lightweights enough time to nurse thier shots of schnapps.

the game itself was great, expected a shootout in the 40’s but the aggressive playcalling by sean payton drew enough suspense to keep the game exciting.

my favorite play

was definitely the onside kick. that play reminded me of fourth grade kickball. ball’s flying everywhere and everyone looks confused and panicked.

national anthem

out of all the singers out there, you had to get queen latifah from the bargain bin?  we all know queen latifah doesn’t like to pronounce multi-syllable words together…”BE. YOU. TEE. FULL…PUR. PLE.” /facepalm

halftime show

didnt watch it until today, and i somewhat felt bad for “the who.” this is like watching my grandpa at karaoke night. it looks like we are going to continue to get old rockers until the FCC gets over janet. the last time they let someone born after 1965 perform….they got boobies.

postgame

sucks to be a NFC south team this fall. it looks like sean payton gained enough xp in the super bowl to unlock beast mode last nite and slapped the mvp outta the face of the NFL in manning.

the commercials

from what ive seen, the biggest question is how many creative writers the ad agencies laid off last year?

this is the only year so far where you can make a legitimate case for all the commercials aired as the worst super bowl ad youve seen.

best commercial

there were no great commercials and only one good commercial. that one goes to betty white. my biggest lol was when white said “you’ve been ridin me all day”…i love it when betty goes dirty.

worst commercial

by far the census commercial. it brought no value to the table. its placement in the super bowl is like jamming that jagged puzzle piece that doesnt fit. you know ahead of time it doesnt fit, but convince yourself it visually fits in with the other pieces. this commercial had the biggest potential in becoming the best commercial as well. for those who saw the hangover, melissa aka rachael harris was the centerpiece of the commercial and if one of the guys have her clear up the confusion on whether she fucked a sailor or bartender or made any reference from the hangover, they couldve took the cake.

bud light’s autotune came in second. bud light and autotune dont mix. see mentos and coke

honorable mention

e*trade

its never too late to abort these babies. having 5 of them in a commercial doesnt make it 5 times as funny. i hope someone joins me in my next episode where i take down the progressive skank and the UPS doodling douche.

bud light

well if you’re gonna make unfunny commercials promoting watered-down piss, it’s only fair that they should remind me of J-Lo playing a lesbian hitwoman and ben affleck being his usual douchey self. *cough* gigli

careerbuilder and dockers

two pantless commercials aired in a row? blame lady gaga

Flo.Tv

hmmm i wonder if Flo.Tv and the iPad will ever merge?

vizio

a little tardy on the youtube memes. i cant wait until they discover the sneezing panda! i hope they skip over what what in the butt

taco bell

i will not eat that box.
not with a fox.
not with some jocks.

i will not eat it for a buck.
no, i will not eat it, sir chuck.

i hate seeing barkley in commercials and i keep preaching he doesnt need to appear in them for this reason.

things that will always be separate:

oil and water.

israel and the palestinians.

charles barkley and his dignity.

on a final note, as bad as the commercials and halftime may be, we cant take this super bowl for granite. in a few years its a realistic possibility that there will be no NFL and/or NBA if they both leagues man up and get their CBA’s right!

# : photos

Summoned 11 hours ago 16

wow…i just finished watching the remaining commercials i missed last nite, and it seems that casual misogyny is all the rage at this year’s super bowl.

# : blurbs

Summoned 1 day ago 11

saints fans remind me of teenagers who had their first beer.

congrats though, the sun shines on a pig’s butt every now and then.

# : blurbs

Summoned 1 day ago 13

bring on yet another geriatric half-time show!!

hey “the who”, if you do good we’ll have your favorite meal waiting for you backstage: medicine and apple sauce!

# : blurbs

Summoned 1 day ago 25

in the super bowl party im hosting, we are starting this drinking game at kickoff and will adjust drinking to prevent drinking deaths at the minimum.

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS SUPERBOWL DRINKING GAME:

1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1

2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1

3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1

4. Every time the words “tragedy”, “flood”, or “devastation” are used, drink 1

5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3

6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5

7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say “bringing the wood” drink for 5 seconds..

8.. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say “I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman”

9. Every time Reggie Bush gets up and flexes his arms in that pose he likes to do, drink 1

10. If they mention Tim Tebow for any reason, funnel a beer

11. Every time they say that “it’s destiny for the Saints to win” drink 1

12. If they show footage of Katrina survivors at the Superdome, take a shot of cheap liquor

13. If they call Saints fans the most passionate fans in football, drink 1

14. If they say that the Saints, Saints fans, or the City of New Orleans “deserve” a Super bowl victory, drink 1

15. Every time they say how good of a story the Saints are, drink 1

16. If Jeremy Shockey pretends to be hurt after dropping a pass, drink 2

17. If they mention the Saints beating the Falcons in 2006 in the first game after Katrina in the Superdome, drink 5 and remember that we are still a better football team with better fans.

18. Every time they compare hurricane Katrina to the Haiti earthquake, funnel a beer and yell “BULL****!”

19. Every time they mention Drew Brees as the Mardi Gras king, drink 1.

20.. Every time they show Archie Manning, drink 1, and mention how bad he sucked. If they show old footage of him on the Saints, drink 5. If they mention how tough of a decision it was for him as for whom to cheer for, drink 10.

21. Every time they show a saints fan yelling “Who dat!” Or a sign/shirt saying the same, drink 1.

22. If they show Chris Paul at the game, drink 1 and mention to someone how much better he is than Marvin Williams.

23. If they show former Mayor Ray Nagin, drink 5 and then punch someone in the face

Other Rules not involving the Saints:
1. Every time they show Eli Manning in the press box, drink 1
2. Every time Pierre Garcon is mentioned with Haiti , drink 1
3. If Brett Favre is mentioned for any reason, drink 1

# : koolness

Summoned 3 days ago 19

everytime i see these pics i laugh…..it’s been 30 minutes and i still laugh!

oh and 5th girl from the left is missing in second pic….hmmmmmm

# : photos

Summoned 4 days ago 24

“Inventor unveils $7,000 talking sex robot” = human race doomed!

first off she looks dead and secondly she looks like sarah jessica parker = no thanks

theres probably gonna be a downside to this in which every 28 days you have to break out an iPad

an excerpt from the article…

“Meet Roxxxy, who may be the world’s most sophisticated talking female sex robot. For $7,000, she’s all yours.

“She doesn’t vacuum or cook, but she does almost everything else,” said her inventor, Douglas Hines, who unveiled Roxxxy last month at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, Nevada.”

no vacuum? she has no vagina?? she has a barbie doll vagina??

these excerpts scare me…

“His customer base? Shy, awkward or older men who “have trouble meeting girls,” he says.”

thats a no brainer. so its safe to say in 5-10 years, 8 out of 10 dudes are gonna be a “superbad” michael cera when it comes to women. us guys as a whole will have literally shot ourselves in the foot if this product were to lead to a boom. for instance, nerds have came a long way since the 80’s, and they are getting laid nowadays. this wont improve the social situation for guys who struggle, but instead be a step back for mankind.

“TrueCompanion claims that more than 4,000 men have placed pre-orders for Roxxxy robots, and another 20,000 or so have requested information about the product. TrueCompanion also is developing a male sex robot, named Rocky.

“There’s really nothing like this on the market,” said Hines, who speaks of his unique creation with what seems like genuine affection. “Whenever she’s out in public, everyone wants to talk to her and pose for pictures. It’s so cute.”

all i say is that the human race better be careful. if they continue to make these things too good, there will be less guys and girls looking for the real thing.

Inventor Unveils $7,000 Talking Sex Robot

# : photos